My first poem of the day. Where does the day go by. How?.

"Progress" Acid rain falls on my eyes are filled with foreign poison clouds of heaven. Starving children in cable television and all victims of technology. politicians, why can you see? greed and lies destroy me. Washington, who is blind, time is running out for all mankind. Devil breaks in relation to the sun, things they say, nothings done. It's too late, polluted water, the human race needs their disease. Always looking for constructive comments. thats how to improve.

DP Well, you asked for constructive thinking on your part, so I'm going to give. Although I think your poem certainly evokes a sense of frustration that the answers government to the social crisis, I think is a little too wide in the first stanza of the poem. you should try to reduce the number of subjects to be treated only issues that politicians tend to ignore. In Otherwise, it just seems like you're ranting about everything … I think this entry through the adjustment of the stanza, which will focus the message of his piece, and let the reader feel more emotionally invested in their genuine concern for the federal response to social issues affecting the whole country. Hope this helps:)

Janet Kuypers poem “Outsourcing the American Dream” 06/07/05

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